How to choose the right therapist in Salt Lake City

How to Choose the Right Therapist in Salt Lake City

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Choosing a therapist is one of the most important decisions you can make for your mental health and relationships. As a therapist practicing in SLC, I’ve had countless conversations with people asking what they should look for in a therapist. The truth is, they’re really asking whether I have what they need—and that’s exactly the right question to be asking.

Over my years of practice, I’ve developed very specific opinions about what makes for a successful therapeutic relationship. Here’s what I believe you should prioritize when choosing a therapist in Salt Lake City, in order of importance.

How to choose the right therapist in Salt Lake City

The Most Important Factor: Fit

The number one thing I look for—and what I encourage clients to prioritize—is fit. This means asking yourself some key questions:

  • When you talk to the therapist on the phone for 10 or 15 minutes, does it feel like a good fit?
  • Does it feel like the therapist truly listens to you?
  • Is there a good vibe between the two of you?
  • Do you feel comfortable and at ease?

The Evaluation Period: Your First Few Sessions

Here’s something crucial that many people don’t realize: the first, second, and even third sessions should always be a time when you, the client, are evaluating the therapist. You need to know that you’re choosing, and you need to approach this from the perspective of an informed consumer.

During these initial sessions, ask yourself:

  • Do I feel comfortable with this person?
  • Do I like them as a person?
  • Most importantly: Do I feel like I’ll be able to be vulnerable with this therapist?

That last question is key. Therapy requires vulnerability, and if you don’t feel safe being open and honest, the therapeutic process simply won’t work.

Questions You Should Ask

Questions you should ask a Salt Lake City therapistAt Peterson Family Therapy, I always tell people to ask questions—lots of them. I’m an open book, and any good therapist should be. Here are some important questions to consider:

  • What are your theories of therapy?
  • What specific approaches do you use? (For example, we specialize in Emotionally Focused Therapy)
  • How do you conduct therapy sessions?
  • How often should we meet?
  • What does treatment cost?
  • What is your experience with cases like mine?

Pro tip: If you’re feeling stressed about the initial consultation (which is completely normal), write down your questions ahead of time. This ensures you won’t forget anything important during what can be an emotionally charged conversation.

Why the Therapeutic Relationship Matters

Remember, you are the consumer in this relationship. All the research consistently shows that the best therapeutic outcomes happen when there is a positive relationship between the client and the therapist. This relationship is often more predictive of success than the specific techniques used.

Experience and Training Matter Too

While fit is the most important factor, I also believe it’s crucial to work with someone who has both the right training and adequate experience.

For couples therapy specifically, I would never refer a friend, family member, or colleague to anyone who wasn’t trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT is the most powerful and research-backed approach to couples therapy available today.

Experience also counts. While some young therapists are excellent, there’s real value in working with someone who has been practicing for a substantial period. They’ve seen more cases, worked through more challenges, and developed the clinical judgment that comes with years of practice.

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, you want to find a therapist with whom you’re most likely to be open and vulnerable. This combination of good fit, proper training, and adequate experience creates the foundation for successful therapy.

The process of choosing a therapist is deeply personal, and what works for someone else may not work for you. Trust your instincts, ask plenty of questions, and remember that you have every right to find someone who feels like the right match for your specific needs and situation.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you’re looking for therapy in Salt Lake City and want to explore whether we might be a good fit, I encourage you to reach out. At Peterson Family Therapy, we specialize in Emotionally Focused Therapy for individuals, couples, and families. We’re happy to answer your questions and help you determine if our approach aligns with what you’re looking for.

Remember: choosing the right therapist is an investment in your future wellbeing. Take the time to find someone who feels right for you.

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Understanding Trauma: How Your Brain Responds and How Therapy Helps

Understanding Trauma: How Your Brain Responds and How Therapy Helps

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Trauma affects millions of people, yet many don’t fully understand how it impacts the brain and why certain symptoms persist long after a traumatic event. As a licensed clinical social worker with over 20 years of experience, including specialized work with veterans at the VA, I want to help you understand trauma in simple terms and explain how therapy can help you heal.

Understanding Trauma: How Your Brain Responds and How Therapy Helps

The Caveman Brain: Why We’re Wired for Survival

To understand trauma, imagine you’re a caveman or cavewoman sitting peacefully, watching a beautiful sunset. You don’t notice the tiger crouched behind you, ready to attack. Here’s the thing: we didn’t inherit that relaxed cave person’s DNA.

We inherited the DNA from the hypervigilant caveman up in the tree, clutching their infant, constantly scanning the jungle for danger. That hypervigilant brain is what we carry today—it’s called the amygdala.

This survival mechanism served our ancestors well, but in modern life, it can work against us when trauma occurs.

What Happens in Your Brain During Trauma

What happens in your brain during traumaWhen we’re in survival mode, the amygdala gets activated, making it extremely difficult to think clearly. Our frontal lobe—the rational, thinking part of our brain—essentially shuts down. Instead, our fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses take over.

Think about it this way: if you’re in the jungle and see a tiger that hasn’t noticed you yet, what do you do? You freeze, because any movement might catch its attention. But if the tiger sees you, you run. And if it catches you, you either fight back or fawn (play dead, submit, or become completely still).

Take a moment to reflect: In dramatic or traumatic experiences you’ve had, how did these responses show up for you?

Trauma as Scattered Glass

I like to think of trauma as broken glass, scattered everywhere. Your brain desperately tries to make sense of what happened through flashbacks, nightmares, and triggers. It’s attempting to figure out:

  • Why the trauma occurred
  • How to prevent it from happening again
  • What you could have done differently

This process brings up thoughts like:

  • “I should have done this differently”
  • “I could have prevented it”
  • “It’s my fault”

These mental patterns often lead to hypervigilance—a pervasive sense that the world is dangerous and can’t be trusted. This mindset can infiltrate every aspect of your life.

The Problem with Trauma Memory

Here’s what makes trauma particularly challenging: it’s difficult for our brain to remember traumatic events in a clear, linear way. Instead of a coherent narrative, trauma memories often present as:

  • Fragmented images
  • Intense emotions without context
  • Physical sensations
  • Distorted perspectives that suggest we did something wrong

This fragmented nature often creates “stuck points”—those persistent thoughts of “what if,” “should have,” and “if only” that keep replaying in your mind. These aren’t just negative thinking patterns; they’re your brain’s attempt to solve an unsolvable puzzle.

How Shame and Guilt Feed the Cycle

Along with these stuck points often comes shame and guilt, which actually feed the trauma cycle. When we believe we’re somehow responsible for what happened to us, it creates additional emotional wounds that need healing.

How Trauma Therapy Helps

How trauma therapy in Salt Lake City helpsThe goal of trauma therapy in Salt Lake City is to help put those scattered pieces of memory back together into a coherent narrative. Through specialized therapeutic approaches, we help your brain understand: “Oh, that’s what happened. I don’t need to keep generating nightmares, flashbacks, or stuck points anymore.”

Effective trauma therapy helps you:

  • Process traumatic memories in a safe environment
  • Challenge distorted thoughts and stuck points
  • Develop healthy coping mechanisms
  • Reduce hypervigilance and anxiety
  • Reclaim your sense of safety and peace

Your Path to Healing

At Peterson Family Therapy, we use evidence-based approaches including Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and other trauma-informed modalities. The key is getting clarity about what happened, healing the emotional wounds, and learning to live at peace once again.

Remember: Your brain’s response to trauma is normal and adaptive—it’s trying to protect you. But you don’t have to stay stuck in survival mode forever.

If you’re struggling with trauma symptoms, you don’t have to face this alone. Candace Peterson, LCSW, specializes in trauma therapy and has extensive experience helping individuals heal from traumatic experiences. Contact Peterson Family Therapy today to learn how we can support your healing journey.

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Contact Information:

Candace Peterson
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Peterson Family Therapy
4505 Wasatch Blvd #260
Salt Lake City, UT 84124

Peterson Family Therapy provides trauma counseling, couples therapy, and individual therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah. We specialize in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and evidence-based trauma treatment approaches.

Understanding Depression: A Pathway to Healing and Growth

Understanding Depression: A Pathway to Healing and Growth

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At Peterson Family Therapy in Salt Lake City, we work with couples, families, and individuals facing a wide range of mental health challenges. One condition that affects many of our clients—and millions of people nationwide—is depression. I want to share my perspective on understanding depression, how it impacts relationships, and most importantly, how we can treat it effectively.

Understanding Depression: A Pathway to Healing and Growth

Depression in Utah: You’re Not Alone

Recent data from the CDC shows that approximately 1 in 4 Utah residents (22.5%) experienced symptoms of anxiety or depression as of late 2024. While Utah’s depression rates have significantly improved from pandemic peaks—dropping from over 32% in late 2020 to 14.7% today—depression remains a common experience that affects individuals and families throughout our state.

What Depression Really Looks Like

Depression is often misunderstood. While many people think of it as simply feeling sad, the reality is more complex. Depression is frequently characterized by a lack of feeling altogether—a profound numbness that can be more distressing than sadness itself.

People experiencing depression commonly report:

  • Emotional numbness or feeling disconnected from their emotions
  • Persistent negative thinking with an inner voice saying they’re not good enough or worthy
  • Overwhelming shame about themselves or their circumstances
  • Hopelessness about the future or their ability to change their situation

It’s crucial to understand that depression doesn’t always look the way we expect. Sometimes people who are depressed may appear angry or anxious rather than sad. This is why professional assessment is so important—what looks like anger or anxiety on the surface may actually be depression underneath.

The Science Behind Depression

Depression has a significant genetic component. Many people carry genes that make them more susceptible to developing depression, which is why a combination of talk therapy and medication is usually the most effective treatment approach.

This isn’t about weakness or personal failure—it’s about brain chemistry and genetic predisposition, and knowing this can help remove some of the self-blame that comes with depression.

How Depression Affects Relationships

In my work with couples using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), I’ve observed how depression becomes part of what we call the “negative cycle” in relationships. When one or both partners are experiencing depression, it affects:

  • How they think about themselves and their relationships
  • What they do (or don’t do) in daily interactions
  • How they communicate their needs and emotions

This creates a cycle where depression triggers certain behaviors, which then trigger reactions from the partner, leading to more negativity and reactivity. The depression becomes intertwined with the relationship dynamics, making both the depression and the relationship problems worse.

This is why it’s essential that we assess for depression in couples therapy. Sometimes what appears to be a relationship problem is actually rooted in untreated depression affecting one or both partners.

Depression as a Gateway to Growth

While depression is undoubtedly painful, I’ve come to see it as potentially a gateway to great healing and emotional growth. When we work through depression therapeutically, it often leads to:

  • Deeper self-understanding and awareness of patterns
  • Emotional growth and resilience
  • Stronger relationships built on authentic connection
  • More passionate and fulfilling lives on the other side of healing

The key is having the right support system in place during this difficult journey.

Our Approach to Depression Treatment

At Peterson Family Therapy, we take depression seriously and treat it as both a chemical and emotional condition. Our approach includes:

Comprehensive Assessment: We carefully evaluate each client to understand their unique experience of depression and how it’s affecting their life and relationships.

Integrated Treatment: We believe in combining talk therapy with medication when appropriate, working closely with psychiatric providers to ensure comprehensive care.

Relationship Focus: When working with couples, we address how depression is affecting the relationship dynamic and help both partners understand and respond to depression more effectively.

Experienced Support: Having worked with depression for many years, we’re comfortable walking alongside clients through their darkest times, providing the steady support needed for healing.

You Don’t Have to Walk Through This Alone

If you’re struggling with depression—whether as an individual or as part of a couple—please know that help is available. Depression is treatable, and we’ve witnessed countless clients emerge from their depression to live healthier, more passionate lives.

The journey through depression can be challenging, but with the right therapeutic support, it can also be transformative. At Peterson Family Therapy, we’re here to walk through that journey with you.

 

If you’re experiencing depression or believe it may be affecting your relationship, we invite you to reach out for a consultation. Contact Peterson Family Therapy today to learn more about how we can support your healing journey.

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How Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Transforms Relationships in Salt Lake City

How Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Transforms Relationships in Salt Lake City

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After 20+ years of providing couples therapy in Salt Lake City, I’ve seen firsthand how Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) can heal relationships that seemed beyond repair. As a certified EFT therapist and supervisor at Peterson Family Therapy, I want to share how this approach creates lasting change for couples in our community.

How Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Transforms Relationships in Salt Lake City

Beyond Traditional Couples Therapy: The EFCT Difference

Many couples come to us after trying traditional couples therapy without success. They’ve learned communication techniques and conflict resolution strategies but still feel disconnected and frustrated. Why? Because traditional approaches often address symptoms rather than the root cause of relationship distress.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy takes a different approach. Rather than teaching skills, EFCT helps couples understand and change the emotional patterns that drive their interactions. This science-based method focuses on the emotional bond between partners – the secure connection that is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

The Science Behind EFCT’s Success

EFCT was developed about 30 years ago by Dr. Sue Johnson in Canada. As a graduate student working with couples, Dr. Johnson realized traditional therapeutic approaches weren’t providing the tools for real change. This led her to develop EFCT with colleagues, grounding it in two powerful theoretical foundations:

  1. Attachment Theory: Originally developed by John Bowlby to understand what creates security in children, attachment theory recognizes our need for safe, secure connections continues throughout our lives. Dr. Johnson applied these principles to adult relationships, understanding most conflicts arise from threats to our sense of secure connection.
  2. Person-Centered Therapy: Drawing from Carl Rogers’ humanistic approach, EFCT emphasizes unconditional positive regard, acceptance, and reflection. The basic idea is people must feel completely understood and accepted before real change can happen.

What sets EFCT apart is the science. More than 20 peer-reviewed studies have proven EFCT works, with 70-75% of couples moving from distress to recovery and 90% showing significant improvement. These results surpass any other couples therapy approach.

The Negative Cycle

At the heart of EFCT is understanding what we call the “negative cycle” – the repetitive pattern of interaction that keeps couples stuck. Often these cycles follow a pursue-withdraw pattern:

  • One partner, feeling disconnected, pursues – perhaps through criticism, complaints, or persistent questioning – trying to get a response and reassurance.
  • The other partner, feeling overwhelmed by this pursuit, withdraws – perhaps by shutting down, becoming defensive, or physically leaving – trying to reduce conflict and emotional intensity.

The more one pursues, the more the other withdraws, creating a cycle that intensifies over time. Both partners feel misunderstood and alone, even though they’re reacting to the same fear – the fear of losing connection.

What’s amazing is these cycles happen across couples of all kinds in Salt Lake City. Whether I’m working with young couples just starting out, established couples in midlife transition, or same-sex couples facing unique challenges, the underlying attachment needs and patterns remain the same.

The EFCT Process: From Distress to Connection

As an EFCT therapist with over 20 years of experience, I guide couples through a structured process:

Stage 1: De-escalation

First, we work together to identify and understand your negative cycle. When couples recognize how they get caught in this pattern and how both partners contribute – not from malicious intent but from attachment needs – blame diminishes and understanding grows.

This stage involves:

  • Identifying the negative interaction pattern
  • Recognizing the underlying emotions that drive reactions
  • Understanding how the cycle takes over and damages connection
  • Beginning to externalize the problem – seeing the cycle as the enemy, not each other

Stage 2: Restructuring Bonds

Once the negative cycle is de-escalated, we begin the transformative work of creating new interactions. Partners learn to:

  • Access and express deeper, more vulnerable emotions
  • Clearly communicate attachment needs and fears
  • Respond to each other’s vulnerability with compassion
  • Create new, positive cycles of interaction

Stage 3: Consolidation

In the final stage, couples solidify their gains by:

  • Developing new solutions to old problems from a place of secure connection
  • Creating a compelling story of their relationship journey
  • Establishing rituals that maintain connection
  • Building skills to prevent future disconnection

EFCT in Action: A Salt Lake City Success Story

Here’s a disguised example from my practice that illustrates EFCT’s power: James and Maria came to therapy on the verge of divorce after 15 years of marriage. Their pattern was clear – Maria would criticize James for being emotionally unavailable, while James would withdraw into work and silence, seeing Maria’s complaints as proof he could never please her.

Through EFCT, James began to recognize and express his deeper feelings: “When you criticize me, I feel like a failure. I withdraw because I don’t know how to fix us, and that terrifies me.” Maria, hearing James’s vulnerability instead of his defensiveness, connected to her own deeper emotions: “I push because I’m scared of losing you. When you turn away, I feel abandoned.”

As they began to recognize their shared fear of disconnection, they could step out of their negative cycle. James learned to stay engaged even when uncomfortable, while Maria found ways to express her needs without criticism. Their new pattern became one of reaching for each other rather than pushing away.

Is EFCT for You?

In my 20+ years of providing couples therapy in Salt Lake City, I’ve seen EFCT work for:

  • Communication breakdown
  • Emotional disconnection
  • Recovery from affairs and betrayal
  • Sexual intimacy issues
  • Parenting conflicts
  • Life transitions (becoming parents, empty nest, retirement)
  • Trauma healing

EFCT is effective because it doesn’t require both partners to be equally committed initially. Often, as one partner begins to change their part in the negative cycle, the other naturally responds differently.

Take the First Step

If you’re struggling in your relationship, know there is hope. The negative cycles keeping you disconnected can become positive cycles of support and love. At Peterson Family Therapy, we’re committed to guiding couples in Salt Lake City through this journey of healing and reconnection.

With over 20 years of experience and specialized certification in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, our team provides expert guidance through this proven approach. We believe most relationships can rediscover the security and connection that brought partners together in the first place.

Ready to transform your relationship? Contact Peterson Family Therapy today to schedule a consultation with one of our certified EFT therapists.

Ed Peterson - Peterson Family Therapy Salt Lake City UtahEd Peterson is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Certified Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Therapist, and Certified EFT Supervisor at Peterson Family Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Vulnerability In Therapy Pays Big Dividends

Vulnerability In Therapy Pays Big Dividends

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In her book Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson brilliantly sums up what happens when couples get stuck in negative and reactive cycles: “In insecure relationships, we disguise our vulnerabilities so our partner never really sees us.” Dr. Johnson goes on to talk about the healing power of love and emotional responsiveness in a love relationship: “Love has an immense ability to help heal the devastating wounds that life sometimes deals us. Love also enhances our sense of connection to the larger world. Loving responsiveness is the foundation of a truly compassionate, civilized society.”

Vulnerability In Therapy Pays Big Dividends

The father of Attachment Theory, British Psychiatrist John Bowlby, summed up what Attachment Theory teaches us about the key relationships in our lives: “The propensity to make strong emotional bonds to particular individuals is a basic component of human nature.“ Bowlby also wrote on how relationships with key “others” are vitally important in the growth and health of all individuals.

Given this information, here are some conclusions about vulnerability:

Attachment Theory teaches us that key relationships (in childhood with an adult care-giver and in adult romantic partners) play a huge part in the human development of a safe haven and the strong ability to be in the world and take risks; the risks are tolerable because the person knows that their partner has their back emotionally and will be there when they reach out in need.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, is a highly effective couples therapy modality that focuses on helping clients learn to communicate the softer primary emotions (think vulnerability, or the need for acceptance) that always lie underneath the more surface emotions (think anger, contempt, and defensiveness) that put us in a negative cycle of hurt and disconnection.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) brilliantly supports couples to share their vulnerabilities, which leads to the creation of an emotional “safe haven” and a strong bond that can stand firm in the face of life’s many difficult emotional challenges.

Request an Appointment Today

Request an appointment with our team today and start learning how you can use your emotions, vulnerability, and more to build healthy, loving relationships with those around you.

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Depression and the Inner Critic

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When I have been the most depressed one constant was a brutally critical interior conversation. This inner critic was loud and menacing, usually communicating to me that I was worthless and weak, not worthy of love, and that getting out of the depression was unlikely.
Over many years of cognitive and spiritual work I have learned to recognize this critical voice and take my power back. The first step always was to identify the voice. Next was to observe the insanity of the critic’s voice. Only then could I talk back to the critic and begin to find my own voice.
I believe the first step is acceptance of the voice. Then experiencing it, not running from it. Mindfulness is vital even when the inner critic rages and roars.

If you need help dealing with depression and battling your inner critic, we’re here for you. Request an appointment below and start the work to better mental health today.

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Express More Gratitude to Experience Less Negativity

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7 Simple Tips To Strengthen Your Relationship

I am convinced that the best antidote to negativity is gratitude. We all know how good it feels to be full of gratitude. Try this as a daily practice; before you get out of bed think of 5 specific things you are grateful for. It will change your feelings your energy level and your attitude. Then add to this 5 specific things you appreciate about each member of your family. You will feel the difference. Gratitude is a powerful tool.

Request an Appointment Today

If you struggle to feel gratitude or overcome negativity in your life, we are here to help. Request an appointment today and we will help you overcome the challenges you are facing.

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Live From Your Values, Not Your Emotions to Battle Addiction

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Addicts pay attention to their feelings more than their values. If an addict can slow down and not make the impulsive choice in the moment then they have a chance to reflect on their values (what the cars about most) then they have a chance to not take the next fix but instead Make a healthy choice.

Get Help for Your Addiction

Our team is here to help you battle and overcome your addictions. Request an appointment below and we will help you learn the skills necessary to overcome the challenges you face.

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Mindfulness and the Power of the Present

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I cannot stress loudly or strongly enough that learning to live mindfully in the moment and in touch with your body are key steps toward true mental health. Mental conditions such as depression,  anxiety, OCD, ADD, and others all share an underdeveloped ability to live in the present. When recovering from these conditions, if you develop a mindfulness practice, it will help you feel relaxed and get back “in” your body. Do this and you are on the road to real recovery and serenity.

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Get Help Learning Mindfulness Techniques

Our team is here to help you learn the skills and techniques necessary to improve your mental health. Request an appointment below and we will help you learn the skills necessary to overcome the challenges you face.

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Taking Calculated Risks in Therapy

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Recently a patient showed me how and when to take a calculated risk during an individual therapy session (of course never ever do anything unethical or inappropriate or potentially damaging  — “first, do no harm”).

In this moment she led me out of my comfort zone and into new and important emotional territory for her.

Here’s what happened (I changed all names and details of the experience to ensure confidentiality):

She walked into our Salt Lake City based office and shared in detail a passage from a favorite book. She shared why she loved it. At that moment, I had a choice to make  — stay with this topic or move into usual “therapy talk”

My choices were:

1. Start the session with the usual questions like; How are you feeling? How was your week? What would you like to work on today?  — all very typical “therapist” questions — nothing wrong with these questions.

Or

2. Follow her lead and ask her to talk more about the book, ask her to pull up the scene on her phone and read parts of it to me, question her about what the book tells her about her life and life in general, etc.

So, by taking the second option good things happened. Her talk about the book led us directly into key fears and upsets that she had never shared before. It led her to compare here emotional life with pains and joys to the characters in her book.

Note to self: pay attention to what the client says in first five minutes of session. What may seem like idle conversation often will be the key to finding the emotional center of the therapy session.

Request an Appointment Today

Request an appointment with one of our therapists today and begin your own journey to personal insights and emotional healing. We are here to help and support you on your journey to a better, happier life.

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