ADHD Isn’t a Flaw, It’s Often an Anxiety Issue in Disguise

ADHD is an anxiety issue, and it’s tricky and interesting to work with.

I’ve jotted down a few notes that describe exactly what we do and what our philosophy is around dealing with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and helping clients.

The first is this: we focus on the person, not the diagnosis, because we don’t want people to feel like their ADHD defines them. It’s just something they deal with.

The second is we focus on shame, because usually with ADHD there’s a lot of shame. Boys and girls, at an early age, kindergarten through fourth grade, often get told that they’re either not smart or that they’re disciplinary problems. So even as they grow older, into high school and as adults, there can be a lot of shame, and that can be very cultural.

Next, we try to look underneath the ADHD and understand the underlying anxiety. We help clients see that those ADHD feelings, things like feeling overwhelmed, procrastinating, boredom, fear of failure, are really what’s underneath the ADHD and what makes it so painful.

We also talk about relational issues, because we’re trained in emotionally focused therapy. We understand that the way key loved ones treat the individual, and the health of the whole relationship, makes a big difference. It especially helps the ADHD client move away from shame and into a position where they feel they can grow and learn.

We’ll also talk about the negative cycle and how ADHD can show up. It can make a person more edgy, more grumpy, more bored. It can cause some people to come forward and protest, and others to withdraw. That’s a big part of it.

We also look at practical things. We want to give clients practical skills so they can make better choices and manage themselves and their own anxiety, minimizing the cost of the ADHD.

We talk a lot about small, simple changes and small interventions. Instead of getting upset about writing a paper for college, a client can learn to take it one paragraph at a time, and really let themselves work without shame.

The second to last point is that we help clients see that ADHD can be a superpower. Once it becomes less difficult to manage, people with ADHD often find they can hyperfocus for hours on important things. They tend to have quick minds and can link ideas together well. They also often have a lot of enthusiasm and can be very positive people. There are a lot of positives about ADHD.

The last point is this: we confer with the psychiatrists and psychiatric nurses we work with to help assess whether medication can help the client.

If you find that ADHD has been weighing on your, or someone you love, I want to invite you to reach out to us at Peterson Family Therapy to learn more about our ADHD therapy in Salt Lake City. We’d like to help find a path forward that actually fits how your mind works.