Building Safety and Understanding Your Cycle
First, we help you identify and understand the negative patterns that keep you stuck. We create a safe environment where both partners feel heard and understood.
Why Couples Therapy Is Important
Unfortunately, 40%-50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Couples often come to us feeling:
- Caught in the same arguments over and over
- Emotionally disconnected from each other
- Struggling to recover from betrayal or infidelity
- Unable to communicate effectively
- Like roommates rather than partners
- Uncertain if the relationship can be saved
But there’s hope. With EFT, 70-75% of couples report moving from distress to recovery, and approximately 90% of couples show significant improvements. This isn’t just any couples therapy – it’s a proven, structured approach that creates lasting change.
What Makes Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Different?
Emotionally Focused Therapy was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson in Canada about 30 years ago.
I’ve been a therapist for over 20 years, and I thought I had seen it all. But when I found EFT, it absolutely blew my mind from the standpoint of how simple it was, how powerful it was, but mostly because I started seeing success in my clients – especially with couples who were struggling, in pain, and disconnected from each other.
— Ed Peterson, LCSW, MBA
EFT is built on two powerful foundations:
1. Attachment Theory
Understanding the science of emotional bonds and how we connect with important people in our lives.
2. Humanistic Psychology
Focusing on acceptance, understanding, and creating safety before change can happen.
What truly sets EFT apart is its strong scientific foundation. More than 20 peer-reviewed studies have proven EFT to be the most successful couples therapy modality in the world. It’s also grounded in neuroscience, particularly how our brains are wired for connection and empathy.
How EFT Transforms Relationships
At the heart of EFT is understanding the negative cycles that trap couples.
One partner will feel something and be triggered to do something, and by doing or saying that thing, the other person gets triggered and also does something. Then the cycle – this negative cycle – can go round and round. That’s why all of us who have been in relationships know that sometimes we fight about the silliest things that seem small, but these negative cycles can drive major disconnection.
— Ed Peterson, LCSW, MBA
Here’s how the EFT process works:
Accessing Deeper Emotions
Next, we help each partner access and express the deeper, more vulnerable feelings beneath the surface anger, criticism, or withdrawal – the hurt, fear, and longing for connection.
Creating New Interactions
Finally, we guide you to create new patterns of interaction based on emotional openness, responsiveness, and secure connection.
The Transformation in Action
In a typical session, a husband’s emotional numbness might transform into expressing his need for respect, moving from:
"There is no point in talking to you. I don't want to fight."
to
"I do want to be close. I want you to give me a chance. Stop poking me and let me learn to be there for you."
His wife’s criticism might shift to vulnerability, moving from:
"You just don't care. You don't get it."
to
"It is so difficult to say – but I need you to hold me – reassure me – can you?"
These new cycles of connection replace the negative patterns, becoming self-reinforcing and creating permanent change. Your relationship becomes a safe haven and a healing environment for both partners.
When to Seek Couples Therapy
Many couples wait too long before seeking help. Consider reaching out if:
- You find yourselves having the same arguments repeatedly
- You feel emotionally disconnected or lonely in your relationship
- Trust has been broken through infidelity or betrayal
- Major life transitions are creating stress (new baby, job loss, etc.)
- You’re considering separation or divorce
- Communication has broken down or become hostile
- Intimacy issues are affecting your connection
The earlier you seek help, the more quickly you can restore your relationship. Even couples in severe distress can experience transformation with the right approach.
Our Approach to Couples Therapy
At Peterson Family Therapy, we believe every relationship is unique. Our process typically includes:
While EFT is our primary approach for couples, we sometimes incorporate other evidence-based methods when appropriate, including:
- Family therapy for recovery from codependency
- Mindfulness techniques
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
Is EFT Right for Every Couple?
EFT is effective for many different types of couples and relationship challenges, including:
- Couples dealing with infidelity and rebuilding trust
- Partners struggling with communication issues
- Relationships affected by depression or anxiety
- Couples navigating life transitions
- Partners with different attachment styles
- LGBTQIA+ couples
- Couples affected by trauma
However, EFT is not recommended for relationships where active domestic violence is occurring. Safety is always our first priority.
Inclusive Therapy for All Relationship Structures
LGBTQIA+ Couples Therapy
At Peterson Family Therapy, we provide affirming and inclusive therapy for LGBTQIA+ couples. We understand that LGBTQIA+ relationships may face unique challenges including:
- Navigating external stressors from family, workplace, or society
- Managing coming out processes that may be at different stages
- Dealing with minority stress and its impact on the relationship
- Negotiating roles without heteronormative blueprints
- Finding support systems and community connections
Our approach to EFT is adaptable to all gender identities and sexual orientations. We create a safe, affirming space where you can explore your relationship dynamics without judgment or heteronormative assumptions.
Non-Monogamy and Open Relationship Therapy
We also work with couples and polycules in consensually non-monogamous relationships, including:
- Open relationships
- Polyamorous relationships
- Relationship anarchy
- Swinging and other forms of ethical non-monogamy
Non-traditional relationship structures come with their own unique challenges:
- Establishing and maintaining boundaries
- Managing jealousy and compersion
- Navigating relationship transitions
- Communicating needs across multiple partners
- Balancing time and emotional resources
Through EFT, we help non-monogamous partners build secure attachments while honoring the unique structure of their relationships. Whether you’re new to non-monogamy or experienced but facing challenges, we provide non-judgmental support to help you create the relationship structure that works best for you.
Ed has experience working with many different relationship configurations and approaches therapy from a place of curiosity and respect rather than presumption about what your relationship “should” look like. Our goal is to help you build healthy attachments and communication patterns regardless of your relationship structure.
Meet Your Couples Therapists
Ed Peterson, LCSW, MBA
Ed is a licensed clinical social worker, a Certified EFT Therapist, and a Certified EFT Supervisor – the highest level of EFT certification available. With over 20 years of experience, Ed specializes in helping couples rebuild connection and intimacy.
“My style is highly empowering and motivational. I encourage my clients to get out of their comfort zones and take calculated emotional risks. I believe in inspiring them to do the hard emotional work needed for true recovery.”
Candace Peterson, LCSW
Candace is a licensed clinical social worker with advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy and over 20 years of experience in mental health. Her background in trauma therapy gives her unique insight into relationship dynamics.
“I believe people have the answers inside themselves. My style is highly empathetic and caring, while at the same time pushing clients to stretch and become who they authentically are. My job is to understand and accept you 100% the way you are and then assist you in making the changes you want.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How long does couples therapy take?
A: Most couples see significant improvement within 8-20 sessions. However, every relationship is unique, and the timeline varies based on your specific challenges and goals.
Q: Do we both need to want to come to therapy for it to work?
A: It’s ideal when both partners are committed, but it’s common for one partner to be more hesitant initially. Many reluctant partners become engaged in the process once they experience the non-blaming, emotionally safe environment of EFT.
Q: How much does couples therapy cost?
A: We provide detailed fee information during your initial consultation. We’re committed to making therapy accessible and can discuss options based on your situation.
Q: Is couples therapy covered by insurance?
A: Some insurance plans cover couples therapy. We can provide documentation for you to submit for potential reimbursement.
Q: What if we’re considering divorce – is it too late for therapy?
A: It’s never too late to try. Many couples come to us as a “last resort” and find that EFT helps them reconnect in ways they didn’t think possible. Others gain clarity and closure, whatever the outcome.
Peterson Family Therapy
(801) 809-7990
